Friday, October 4, 2019

A Baseball...

Inspired by my summer working on the Syracuse Mets radio broadcasts, listening to PxP man Mike Tricarico describe the  actions of a baseball.
............................

According to the rulebook, a baseball is a sphere formed by yarn wound around a small core of cork, rubber or similar material, covered with two strips of white horsehide or cowhide, tightly stitched together. It shall weigh not less than five nor more than 5¼ ounces avoirdupois and measure not less than nine nor more than 9¼ inches in circumference.

It is rubbed up,

then

PITCHED,

Backdoored, changed-up, chucked, cookied, curved, dealt, delivered, doctored, emery-balled, eephused, fire-balled, flame-thrown, fork-balled, four-seamed, front-doored, gassed, high-cheesed, hosed, hurled, juiced, knuckled, lobbed, lolipopped, meatballed, overhanded, palm-balled, port-sided, quick-pitched, rainbowed, shine-balled, side-armed, sinkered, slidered, southpawed, split-fingered, submarined, spitballed, two-seamed, Uncle Charlied, yackered, yellow-hammered, whipped, whistled.

and unless it is, chased, fanned, missed, taken, waved at, whiffed,  K’d
it might be

swung on
and

HIT

Baltimore-chopped, banged, bashed, belted, blasted, blooped, bunted, chopped, clobbered, clubbed, cranked, creamed, crushed, cued, daisy-cuttered, dribbled driven, dumped, dunked, dying-quailed, fisted, flared, lied, flipped, fouled, frozen-roped, gapped, hacked, hammered, hooked, humpback-linered, gapped, grounded,  ground-rule-doubled, jerked, knocked, laced, lasered, lifted, lined, lofted, looped, lost, mashed, nubbed, pasted, poked, popped, power-alleyed, punched, ripped, rocked, rolled, roped, served, skied, slapped, sliced, smacked, smashed, smoked, sprayed, suicide-squeezed, squibbed, stroked, tagged, tapped, tattooed, Texas-Leagured, topped, torched, walloped, worm-burnered, zingered.

And then, maybe

CAUGHT,
backhanded, barehanded, circus-caught, flagged, gloved, nabbed, run down, snagged, tracked-down, snowconed, speared,

THEN
Fired, flung, gunned, relayed, rifled, tossed, underhanded, whipped, "wung,"
Or… badly… air-mailed, badly-thrown, misfired, overthrown, underthrown, wildly-thrown,

And sometimes they are
bad-hopped, Bucknered, butchered, bobbled, booted, dropped, erred, fumbled, kicked, miscued, misplayed, missed, muffed,


BUT MAYBE,

dingered, downtowned, four-masted, gone-yarded gophered, jacked, moonshot, outta-hered, outta-sighted, parked, round-trippered, salamied, short-porched, tape-measured, tatered, upper tanked,

Ballantine-blasted, Eutah-Streeted Green-Monstered, Greenberg-Gardened, Kiner-Kornered, McCovey-Coved, Monument-Parked, Pesky-Poled, Uecker-seated

and long-gone.

Card, 2019

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